J. Edward Lynch, Ph.D April, 2004
At a Family Constellation workshop recently, an attractive woman, in her late forties came with an issue that was complex and, in the process of the constellation, an unexpected 'solution' emerged that was powerful and healing. She originally stated that she wanted to look at the factors in her family-of-origin that might have led her to be involved in a "horrifying incident" that resulted in several years of individual therapy focusing on the event. She had been kidnapped, raped, and escaped. She believed she had worked through the fears and emotions associated with the incident, had achieved resolution, and was just interested in what impact it might have on her family of procreation.
The information she gave included that she was the twenty-eighth of thirty -six women who had experienced the same fate, though most of these women had not escaped, instead were killed. She also told me that her father was an alcoholic and then she went into detail about her various siblings. I realized that I had an anxious talker sitting next to me. Whenever I asked her a question, it would unleash a torrent of abusive incidents that occurred throughout her childhood and all seemed to be of equal value. Most of these were not unusual to childhoods that included siblings but instead of saying that she and her brothers fought, she stated it as her brothers "torturing" her.
After listening to a litany of these incidents, I presented her with a suggestion. I said to her that I would work with her on two conditions; one, that she remain silent and two, that I would pick the issue. She agreed and then began to speak. I put my index finger to my lips and she stopped talking. I wondered, for a moment, if I had just symbolically kidnapped her and was about to "rape" her. However, I knew her therapist, who was at the workshop, and he had earlier assured me of her ego strength so I quelled my reservations and proceeded.
I chose the issue based on an internal sensation of quivering that I experienced. She corroborated that she was experiencing the same sensation. There was a silence as I rested to feel the movements of the soul. She began to speak again and I motioned her to be silent. I waited until the silence deepened.
Fourteen women were present at the workshop that day and I instructed them all to lie down on the floor. They slowly took their positions, some with faces of pain, some with neutral expressions. As the last woman lay down, the client looked at them, looked at me, then looked back at the women on the floor. Suddenly, she burst out sobbing and it quickly escalated to gut-wrenching sobbing. She began a movement towards the women and I told her to follow the movement. She almost melted to the floor, reaching out to touch the women saying, "I wanted to save you!" She repeated that phrase several times with such expression that it was clear that was all she had wanted. After a time, I told one of the "dead" representatives to say, "It is not your time. Go back to life." Then, spontaneously, all the women said it, one at a time. I then offered additional healing sentences. I asked the women to say, "You will come when your time is up, and until then live on a full life."
It was a powerful Constellation, one that had a discernable impact on everyone. It was clear that this Constellation touched on several of the other women's issues about rape and sexual abuse. We took a break because of the power of the Constellation. Everyone had been touched by the experience of witnessing and participating and needed a respite from the emotions.
As we continued the workshop, I noticed that the client slept the rest of the afternoon. At the end of the workshop the next day, I asked her how she felt and she responded by asking if I knew the phrase, "... a peace that passes all understanding."